The forced go slow and new scatter brain that I seem to have developed is becoming very frustrating. I just can’t think or do as fast as I used to be able to do. Its like a need a pause button while my brain processes stuff. The number of times that I have had the ‘well?’ kind of looks from my husband – its getting quite regular.
He apologised the other day. He said he had become accustomed to me being so get up and go whizzing about, he just can’t get used to the 1st gear me at all.
I can now walk without clutching the walls, which seems like a ridiculous thing to get excited about. But, it’s all small steps in the right direction. The permanent feeling of being on the deck of a ship in a storm at sea is beginning to abate. Ihave now been out on a bike, on the road, and round the scene of the accident. Another small thing ticked off.
I also have been swimming, I thought this would be a nightmare, but all went well. At the end of this week, though, i managed to resume PowerBreathe training, right back at level 4 where i was before. I was quite impressed!
Concussion test, take 2
I was determined to do better than last week. I very quickly discovered that wasn’t up to me. David Sutton said I was drastically better at the thinking stuff than last week. I almost felt like I was myself again, at times. But, balance… nope. I still felt like a drunk without all the fun, when I was asked to balance with eyes shut.
A head injury is a head injury. You have no bearing on how it develops. All you can do is respond, rest, adapt and wait. Frustrating, but the result was better. I was given the go ahead to try gentle exercise. Better than nothing.
Up and running at last
I was keen to get a few things out of the way. My misconception about the running being potentially problematic was one of them. I still don’t trust this odd head of mine, so I decided to go to the gym, nice and safe. I started on the cross trainer, but the programme ended in 30 mins. I had the number 45 in my mind and I really wasn’t sure that 32 minutes of running was a good idea. So I climbed back on for a bit and stepped tentatively onto the running machine for my last 15 minutes. I began walking. My right leg still felt odd, heavier than the left, like it had all week. It felt like a dead leg. I was determined to crack this, so started jogging the slowest jog I think I may have ever jogged in my life. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it was in fact ok, apart from the fact that my legs felt like lead. But I didn’t care. I was running, and I didn’t expect to be able to do that just inside two weeks after the accident. I was so pleased I can’t tell you. And, thankful for running machines. I didn’t need to get back to where I had started, I could simply climb off and sit down!
It’s a roller coaster ride in the world of head injuries.
Read more about how POWERbreathe improves running performance.